WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF?

What are you most afraid of? This challenging question was posed by authorblog: Weekend Wandering.

I guess my long-term fear is the fear of being alone. This is not uncommon and leads to many compromises that are not always of benefit. But….. I know many people that are totally uncompromising and that is sometimes even more harmful.

I know that this is a mad example, but one of the things that I love is to socialise and eat out - OG hates it and refuses to give in. I could bang on about this and it could become a real contentious issue but there are many things that we have in common that we DO enjoy.

So is my fear of being alone causing me to compromise on something that I love? I don’t think so, I simply go on “Orient Express” trips without him, enjoy long summers in Switzerland, go out to lunch with my crazy mate on Saturday and generally have a good laugh. Now if he objected to me doing that, that would be a different thing altogether. Then I would have to ask myself if I was compromising too much.

I know people that would let this become a BIG ISSUE, much like – “if you loved me you wouldn’t play football”, “if you loved me you would pay me more attention” etc. I know that I'm going off on a bit of a tangent here, but my dad loved football and my mum hated it. On the day of the cup final he would get a bottle of pop and some chocolate and sit and watch it through from midday to finish. Every year she made a "statement" by doing the ironing in another room! The sad thing was that after he died she started watching the cup final too and I ofter wondered if she ever regretted not sharing his passion with him because he absolutely adored her and it would have made him so happy.

Surely you should (and I paraphrase that great JFK quote) ask not what your partner can do for you, instead ask what you can do for your partner - provided you keep your core person intact and don't become a doormat. No-one gets it entirely correct, but I try to give it my best shot.

I also know people who would rather live alone than make the "sacrifice" of living with someone that might have different goals and make demands on them, but who do they share the evening sunset with? Who is at their side when the going gets tough? Who do they laugh at daft things with?

I think the important thing is not to be so scared of being alone that you compromise to the point of losing your own personality. Here endeth the first lesson.

AB-FAB STRIKES AGAIN

Another long, lingering, boozy lunch with my Ab-Fab friend on Saturday. She had me in fits of laughter when she was describing her first visit to New York to visit her beautiful son.

She had been instructed to telephone him when the plane landed for directions on how to get to E34th Street using the air train, where he would meet her.

Ahhh! The only fault with that plan was that her mobile didn’t work in NYC. So….. she got off the plane in a state of panic, not knowing where she was going, where she was staying and wondering if she was destined to become a bag lady in Manhatten.

She actually managed to buy a ticket to Manhatten all on her own, but still had the problem of how to ring son. But help was at hand – the NYPD, and a rather georgeous NYP at that!

Using her most perfectest English voice she pointed to her mobile and said "My cell ‘phone doesn't work here and my son is meeting me in MANHATTEN and I need to let him know I am here so – COULD I PLEASE USE YOUR ‘PHONE?!" The NYP looked at her as though she had gone out (as you would expect him to) and said " No Ma'am"

She then came completely unglued and said "No you just don't understand, my ‘phone doesn't work, so how can I contact my son and without speaking to him I don’t know where I’m going or how to get there. Please, please, help me". With that he moves his arm 5 degrees and pointing to a wall immediately next to where she was standing on which was situated a public telephone and said "You can use that" "Thank you, thank you so much"

"Sorry to bother you again" (best English accent) " but what denomination do I have to put in here?" holding out her hand of small change. Sigh. He takes the correct money, puts it in the ‘phone.

Then age came into the equation. Her arms were not long enough to read son’s telephone number. Extending her arm didn’t help much but a blurred number eventually came into vision and she dials, wrong number, tries a second time, still wrong number. She then turns again to NYP and says "Sorry, sorry, really sorry but this number isn't working on this ‘phone". NYP sighs again, takes the phone and paper and dials the number and it connects, Son answers, she tells him she is in JFK and the most wonderful police officer in the world has helped her. NYP sighs again!!!

So duly sorted she thanks NYP and moves towards the barrier, bowing and scraping looking back at NYP as she moves forward saying repeated how grateful she was for all his help - thank you, thank you, thank you. Then she gets her luggage wedged in the barrier gate. The gates close on her and her luggage and she’s stuck in a maelstrom.

One over-worked, underpaid NYP rescue her plus luggage from the jaws of death, open the side gate, and send her on her on her way. One last parting tap on the shoulder – pointing "Ma'am MANHATTEN is that way"

The frightening thing is that my dear friend is going to Dubai for a week on business. God help Dubai! I reminded her that it is a “dry” country. She said not where she’s going it isn’t!

After a hilarious lunch we bad each other a fond farewell. She was going to look after here granddaughters for the afternoon and I was going to take a “window of opportunity” to power nap before my mad great granddaughters descended for their weekly Saturday night riot at Nanny and Granddad’s house!

TRAVEL

So here we sit in JFK

Trying to while the hours away

Trying not to eat the stuff

That makes me fat - and that is rough

Trying to be alert and gay

Wishing boredom would go away

The airport lounge is dull as hell

A good book they do not sell

But count your blessings I was taught

So thank the lord and pass the port

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