THIS IS A GREAT COUNTRY

Having visited many of the great capital cities in the world I was recently asked which city I like the most.  I didn't have to think too hard about that.  It's London.  Why?  Well I love the architecture, history, parks, museums, art gallaries, theatres etc. but most of all I love the people. 

There is a myth that Londoners are unfriendly but I have always found this to be totally untrue.  This week on TV they showed a clip of a London Bus Driver which just about summed this up for me.  He had a bushy black beard and my guess is that, culturally, he came from a middle eastern or Indian background.  In a broad cockney accent he said "This geaser got on the bus the other day screaming that we were all going to hell.  I told him "no we ain't going to hell mate, we're going to Illford".  Multi-cultural, integrated, humourous and friendly, this is the great stuff that our capital city is made of.

Talking of London. Didn't we have a great joyful happening yesterday?!  The birth of a new Prince.  Isn't it funny how such an event can lift all our spirits?  After all, the Royal Family isn't my family or your family but like most of the country we all seem to feel "connected".  Why is that I wonder?  Sorry, I get a bit philosophical at times. I guess it's just old age.  And if your spirits weren't lifted, you're an old commudgion! 

IT SURE FEELS BETTER WHEN THE SUN SHINES

I remember a few years ago there was talk of the Gulf Stream moving. It is, as the name suggests, a stream  of warm water the wends its way North East (is that the right direction?) from the Gulf of Mexico and hits us smack in the side (it's actually a bit more complicated than that, but I'm not a scientist!)  This is why it is so important to our climate in the UK.  If it keeps to the same path or moves North we stay warm but if it moves South it completely misses us and we get cold, wet and very, very miserable. Well, guess what, a few years ago it moved South and we have had the most horrendous summers - until a few weeks ago when it moved North again and, low and behold, we got warm again! 

Hopefully, now it has had a little look around down South it will decide to stay with us because, in my very humble opinion, this is one of the most beautiful places on earth and when the sun shines it's truly magnificent.  

So, having given an excellent natural history lesson, here are a few more things to contemplate on:-

As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realised that at my age I don't really give a rat's ass anymore because:  

.. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.  

.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.  

.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while  

 

 .. A tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it  lives for 150 years.  

 

And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so. Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do,  And the eyesight to tell the difference because now that I'm older I figure that: 

1.    I started out with nothing, and I still have most of  it.  

2.    My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.   

3.    I  finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.   

4.    Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.  

5.    Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.   

6.    If all is not lost, then where the heck is it ?   

7.    It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.  

8.    Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant.   

9.    I wish the buck really did stop here, I sure could use a few of them.   

10.  Kids in the back seat cause accidents. 

11.  Accidents in the back seat cause kids. 

12.  It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.   

13.  The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.  

14.  If I were supposed to be able to touch my toes, they’d be on my knees.  

15.  When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.   

16.  It's not hard to meet expenses . . .   They're everywhere. 

17.  The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.  

18.  These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter... I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after."  

19.  Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.  

20. HAVE I SAID THAT BEFORE? 

WHAT MAKES 100%?

 

AT LAST, THE ROOF TRUSSES ARE GOING ON TO NEW HOUSE!

What makes 100%? and what about the people who say they are giving more than 100%? How can that be? How, for example, can you achieve 103%?

 

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

 

If:                         ABCDEFGH I JKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

 

Is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5  6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

 

Then         H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K is 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And          K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E is 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96
But           A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E is 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And          B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T is 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
Finally      A-S-S  K-I-S-S-I-N-G is 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

 

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while hard work and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there its the bullshit and ass kissing that will put you over the top.

 

Now you know why some people are where they are!

 

WHAT HAPPENED TO JUNE?

Is it really a month since my last post? Amazing?  So much has happened.  After leaving Rome my Aussie friends, Jill & Angelo, came to my home for a while and then we went down to London for a few days.

London behaved beautifully.  It is at it's best in early summer when the parks are so beautiful and we had glorious sunshine every day.  Our hotel, The Thistle by Kingsley, was ideal.  Great price, good location right by the British Museum and within walking distance of the West End Couldn't have planned it better.  Booked, of course, through my company findmeahotelroom.com.

 

My friend Jean spent one day with us and we were then joined by another friend, Sandy, the next day. We kept telling ourselves that we should do this more often.  I must say that I have been to many of the world's great cities and I think that London is the greatest by far.  Maybe I'm biased?! Nah!!

After spending 4 weeks on the ship and then nearly 2 weeks in the UK with my friends Jill & Angelo I was very sorry to see them go.  I think that we rubbed along well together. They have left a big hole in my life
but without time to turn around I said goodbye to them and flew off to France with my granddaughter, her 4 children, my grandsons Ali and Vinnie and Vinnie's girlfriend Hils.  In France we were also joined by another grandson, Frazer and his girlfriend Adeline.    We were all going to the joyous wedding of another grandson Morgan to his beautiful French bride Gwen. 

 

It was the most unusual and memorable wedding that I have ever been to.  The venue was the mysterious underground hall of the Grand Souterrain at Belfort Citedal.  Amazing. 

It was great to see my grandson Vinnie back from Australia again.  I think he and Hils might stay here for a while now, at least I hope so.  Not that we will probably see much of each other, but it's nice to think that they are back in this Country again.  Is that selfish of me?  Yes! 

They are living in London (that's 2 grandsons living in London, can I feel a visit coming on?!).  Vinnie is now working as a chef at The River Cafe , a Michelin starred restaurant famous for training many well know celebrity chefs including Jamie Oliver. 

So ... now I am back home, with my feet firmly on very shaky ground again! The last of my visitors have been and gone (John & Julie were here last weekend - I met them on my Christmas cruise) and I don't have another commitment until September when I go to Bournemouth on another Oz Bus Reunion. 

So, as I catch my breath, I leave you with this thought. 

GRANDMOTHERS' ANSWERING MACHINE:
Good morning . . . At present I am not home, but please leave your message after you hear the beep.
beeeeeppp ....

If you are one of my children, grandchildren or greatgrandchildren please select one of the following options:

 

If you need me to stay with the children, press 1

If you want to borrow the car, press 2

If you want me to wash your clothes and do ironing, press 3

If you want the grandchildren/great grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 4

If you want me to pick up the kids at school, press 5

If you want me to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 6

If you want to come to eat here, press 7

If you need money, press 8

If you are going to invite me to dinner or take me to the theatre, start talking ..... I'm  listening !!!!!!!!!!!"

 

 

 

 

HOME FROM ROME - YEY!

For those who have followed my recent travelblog charting my trip from Singapore to Rome at http://blog.travelpod.com/travel-blog/retiredandcrazy/3/tpod.html will know that we should have stayed in Italy for 7 days, we left after 2! The reason is simple. My travel companions Jill, Angelo and I didn't like it there.  Why? 

Our opinion of Italians is that they couldn't organise a p***-up in the brewery, they are rude and hostile, even to each other and the trains are a total nightmare.

So, start at the beginning.  We arrived in Rome last Saturday, checked into a nice hotel with "bad attitude" staff and set off on our planned walking tour of the Vatican.  Took the bus to Vatican City, managed, with great difficulty to get directions to our meeting spot, eat lunch and then tried to find out why there were so many ambulances in the vicinity.  No-one claimed to know.

After lunch we set off to walk to our rendevue spot but by this time the crowds had built up.  As we walked the crowds got thicker untill we became hemmed in and could hardly move.  Still no-one seemed to know what was going on!   We tried to press on, but couldn't, tried to go back, but couldn't.  It was very scary because we were being moved into ever thicker crowds.  After we finally moved to clearer ground we found out that Angela Merkel was in audience with the Pope and they were expecting 300,000 people in St John's Square.  Mad.  And no-one knew this was going to happen.  Oh come on!

OK, we were the victim of circumstance.  Next day we set off to ride the hop-on hop-off bus. We were told to stand in line and buy a ticket from the newsagents. BUT the newsagent had run out of tickets and we were then told to stand in line get one on the bus.  This we did, for nearly 40 minutes! When it arrived it was nearly full and fights broke out to get on while three attendents stood by and watched. 

Nearly an hour later we managed to get on the next bus.  Same thing, but being determined we managed get on.  The route had been changed and took us no-where interesting and the commentry didn't match the route.  Finally we decided to give up and went back to the hotel via the railway station so that we could check out the trains to Sorrento the next day.  Have you ever been to an Italian railway station?  My advice, don't!

Again, total chaos reigned and we weren't able to find out anything worthwhile.  I have travelled on Italian trains and know the traumas involved.  Even their own advice is "Note: some of the escalators and elevators are not working so you may need to haul heavy luggage up/down stairs.  Keep an eye on luggage in case they get feet and walk off.  There are also sometimes bad people that have either spit on the seats or have other bodily fluids that don't smell too good on the train floor. You can take the train to Sorrento by checking on the boards.  Attention as they might change platform at the last minute. Inside the train there are, sometime, a few people begging for money.  Do like you never heard them and do not open wallets around."

No shit! Sounds a ball doesn't it?  And then there were the four druggies that were passed out cold on the pavement on the way back to the hotel and the two black guys routing through a suitcase that obviously didn't belong to them. This is not to mention unmentionably dirty toilets, some without doors and a tramp using  the washhand basin to clear his throat and nose in full sight and sound of people buying fancy cakes in the bakery.

When we got back to the hotel we looked at each other and almost in unison said, "shall we go home?" The answer was "yes"!! 

THIS LADY IS FOR TURNING – PYRAMIDS HERE I COME

Regular readers my already know that  I am currently on a cruise from Singapore to Rome.  To read all about it simply click on the map on the side bar.  As a "taster" here is my current post.

I had booked on a tour of the Pyramids, but after receiving a notice warning that because of unrest in Egypt Princess Lines might have to revise their schedule I decided to cancel but was then  encouraged to “go for it girl” by my friend Steve Smith and a fellow passenger said  that if I didn’t go I might regret it afterwards I have decided to go on the trip to Cairo and the Pyramids after all.  Scheduled for  9^th May.  So.....  today is Monday, 6^th May.  Does that mean we go on Thursday?  Too much heat, food, entertainment and chat has made my pea brain melt. 

The tour is as follows:-

“Your thrilling Egyptian adventure begins when you meet your drive and guide at the pier for the scenic drive to Cairo.  Travel through a dramatic landscape of unrelenting sand and scrub, before arriving at Giza, to discover The Great Pyramids.  The largest, the Great Pyramid of Cheops, was built out of 2,300,000 limestone blocks, each weighing and incredible two and a half tons. View the Pyramids of Chephren and Mycerinus, and if time permits, explore their mystical narrow interiors.  Enjoy a stunning photo opportunity at The Sphinx, which bears the body of a reclining lion, and is thought to bear the likeness of the Pharaoh Chephren, before browsing the lively souvenir shops.  Feast on a buffet style lunch at a local hotel before touring the Egyptian Museum of Antiquities, which houses more than 120,000 objects.  The star attractions are the treasures of King Tutankhamen, and his striking Gold Mask.”

So three more sea days.  At the moment we are in the Red Sea just passing Mecca, Saudi Arabia on our way to the Suez Canal.  Tonight I have an invitation to the Captains cocktail party.  Although I normally avoid “formal” occasions the lure of free booze is very, very tempting. 

After the show tonight we have the rare treat of watching the film Zero Dark Thirty up on deck at 9.30.  It’s a film I missed when it came around so I’m happy to go to that with the promise of free pop corn.   This is a small ship and doesn’t have the big screen on deck, but they have “improvised” (whatever that means!). Fascinating.

After four seas days we seem to have become even sillier.  Jill said that Angelo has a new name for me “Lady GaGa” (don’t ask!) so I said I would call him “Lord GaGa” and announced that we are now officially a couple.  I said “wouldn’t it be funny if I changed my facebook status to “in a relationship with Lord GaGa”.  We were hysterical at the thought of that and only the fear of messing with the minds of friends and family stopped me!

One thing that I am gutted about is that after we left Dubai one of my Oz-Bus friends contacted me to say “are you still in Dubai?  If you are let’s meet up for a few gins”.  I would have soooo loved that Jane.  I didn’t know you were still there otherwise I would certainly have done that.  Much love.  Love to the boys too. I met up with them in Melbourne last year.  You’re a great bunch of people and I think of you often.

KUALA LUMPUR IS HOT, HOT, HOT

How could you come to somewhere as exotic as Kuala Lampur without visiting the city?  I now know why Noel Coward wrote “mad dogs and English men go out in the midday sun”.  With temperatures of 40oC and 90o humidity it is not a good idea to do a “City Tour” but, you know what, that’s exactly what I did yesterday. 

“So, what attracted you to do this City Tour Ann?” “Oh I don’t know, maybe the fact it was a 90 minute couch journey to the city in an air conditioned coach which would give me the opportunity to see some of the countryside along the way”.   The “countryside” was a main highway through vegetation, but the coach was comfortable enough and I even managed a quick snooze along the way. 

Kuala Lampur feels like another “crouching tiger”, ready to spring into action and take over the world.  It has the same air of prosperity that Singapore has due mainly to its strategic position between East and West.  Again, this was recognised by the British who colonised the area and the architecture in some areas of the City is spookily more British than Britian! 

One interesting fact:   Rubber trees have a life span of 30 years.  When the wood is processed it looks exactly like pine and the biggest buyer of this wood it IKEA.  So your IKEA pine wood furniture is probably rubber!

My friends Jill, Angelo and I have recognised many people from our trip last year.   It’s like the people who did the backpacking thing in their youth morphed into respectable even, dare I say it, prosperous citizens and have taken to the high seas instead!  We are thinking of requesting a reunion call being put out over the tanoy!  That would be interesting.

We now have 5 “at sea” days and tonight is one of our four formal dressing nights when everyone (apart from the men of course) put on they pretty dresses.  I’m not a “dress up” person  so I wear just plain evening trousers and a top and feel totally out of place. Horses for courses, as they say

 Today we are sailing up the coast of Samoa and, thankfully, there’s not a pirate in sight.  I was asked before I left what should be done for me if I got abducted.  I told them wait a few days to see if I enjoyed it or not before making any decsions.  Who knows, a handsome pirate might spice up the action.  But they assured me that it wouldn’t be like that.  Drat.