BUT I WON'T GIVE IN

OG has been toting around a trade tool magazine. I have a stationery fetish; he has a tool fetish, a marriage made in heaven. As his major operation was only 2 months ago and he is two weeks off starting chemo he shouldn’t be doing anything too physical and I have, therefore, been studiously avoiding asking what is on his mind, but I recognise the symptoms. He is the same when he wants to change his car. He starts mooning around the place, looking pathetic until I bring the subject up, then he whittles on and on until I finally give in. But this time I have ignored him.

He is having his “mate” in the office research something, another sure sign he is up to no good. But I won’t give in. He is having long telephone conversations with his lifelong builder chum “..it’s great and comes with two batteries..” which I am closing my ears to. Finally, yesterday, he asked the Oncologist “is there anything that I shouldn’t being doing?” “Such as?” I jump in “Don’t get involved in this, he is thinking of buying a Kango” “A Kango? What’s that, a Playstation Game?” “No, its a concrete breaker-upper”. He steps back, aghast, “A concrete breaker-upper, why, what are you planning on doing?”, “I want to take down a chimney”. Shit, now I have been told what he is planning, I'm involved and the whittling begins. But I won’t give in.

Now I am off to my grandson's graduation ceremony in Cambridge for the day, go God knows what he will get up to while I'm gone. Keep an eye on him for me.

A NEW MAYOR OF LONDON

At last, a colourful personality in politics. I was told to watch Boris by my Swiss neighbour last summer. He was her MP in Henley and she said he is one smart cookie, not at all the buffoon that he likes to portray. I think we will be treated to a few gloriously eccentric years with him and, who knows, he may even turn out to be one hell of a Mayor. At the very least I suspect he will be remembered. But there again, I may be wrong.

As you would expect from such an exhubertant personality he has confessed to having a "past" and probably still has a "present". The opposition spin doctors and media will now get to work at trashing him. Will he survive? I think so. I hope so.

Whilst on the subject of Mayors did you know that three Lord Mayors of London (a civic as opposed to political post) came from this little village? Not a lot of people know that. OG thinks that it might be because in the middle ages King's courtiers would fall out of favour and be banished to the country. Some came to Lincolnshire. In fact the ship carrying King John's gold is reputed to have sunk in the Wash on the way to our little market town proving that this part of the country was, indeed, very important.

Another interesting and completely unrelated fact is that there was no feudal system in Lincolnshire because the people were too independent and would not be subjugated. Another interesting fact is that they were called stilt walkers because the land is so boggy. Another interesting fact is that farmers could claim rights over land reclaimed from the sea which is why there are so many long narrow farms along the coastline. These facts are from my head and may not be entirely accurate because I am famous for knowing lots of dodgy information.

A MOTLEY CREW

This is a photograph taken outside our office on 1st April, the annual staff get together day (actually it’s 2 hours - not a whole day!). Each year we have a rah-rah session to beat everyone up for their failures last year and threaten them that they had better do better this year.

Unfortunately, I was unable to be present for this ritual public humiliation because OG was in hospital. Drat. They actually all seem to be quite happy don’t they? Just goes to show what the promise of a free lunch will do. You can tell that I really love them all can't you?

May Bank Holiday weekend is the highlight of the year for this small market town. We hit the Big Time every year with the Annual Flower Parade (it’s all annual stuff at the moment isn’t it?) OG hates crowds and marching bands (hence his name – Old Grumpy) but I love them. I think that I might have mentioned the very same thing last year.

At the moment I am saved the need to get mad with OG because he is such a party pooper. I forgive him everything and anything until he gets better - then I will resume shouting and slamming doors at him again. As he has decided to go ahead with the chemo I guess he will be spared my bad temper for a few months longer.

So – getting back to tomorrow, I will mosey on down to town at about lunch-time, sample a few cocktails with my low key (not) friend, have a bite to eat, laugh at fascinating tales of her recent mishaps in New York and, depending on my intake of cocktails, either sedately watch the parade with friends or attempt to de-throne the Flower Queen, join in with the marching bands and possibly upset and insult several local dignitaries. I might even get arrested.

I LOVE YOUR BLOG AWARD

I was very kindly awarded this by Maggie May, now I pass it on to other more deserving bloggers.

Dotty Nana

Swearing Mother

Girl with the Mask

Laughing alone in the dark

Grits Day

MOB

Famous for all kinds of wickedness

Not Wrong Just Different

Work in Progress

Expat Mum

HOCUS POCUS

Here’s a conundrum. How come that as of 15/04/2008 the Consumer Price Index remained unchanged at 2.5% despite prices spiralling out of control? That’s the type of sleight of hand hocus pocus that only an economist can produce! Our assets are diminishing by the minute, our money isn’t safe in the bank, food has become a luxury item but hey, the dodgy CPI has remained the same. Goodie, goodie.

Back to the real world and another conundrum. OG has a decision to make following our meeting with the oncologist on Friday. We were told that we are now in the realm of the unknown. What we do know is that of the 6 lymph nodes removed, 2 were cancerous.

There is a possibility that these two lymph nodes in the area of the tumour were the only nodes affected and that chemo is unnecessary. However, it is also possible that there are other cancerous nodes and chemo could prove to be beneficial. He said that if cancer is still present and OG decided not to have chemo he may feel that he hadn’t given it his best shot.

There has been a study to compare success rates of groups of patients that had chemo against others than had decided not to. Unfortunately, results of this study are not yet available. However, his opinion is that although the benefits of chemo are very uncertain and it isn’t an exact science if OG decided to have the chemo then the sooner it started the better because it would be ineffective if left for more than 3 months after the operation.

So, the conundrum is should OG put himself through this new ordeal so soon after the “major, major operation and major, major reconstruction” (the oncologists words) or take his chances that chemo is not a guarantee and concentrate on building himself up again.

TO GOOGLE OR NOT TO GOOGLE, THAT IS THE QUESTION

Me? I prefer to Google. It’s a matter of preference. Do you take the word of the doctors, or do you keep them honest and frighten yourself shitless reading stuff that is incomprehensible. You know which one I opt for!

Our GP somewhat jumped the gun this week by giving us the results of the “bucket test”. In essence it said that 2 of the 6 lymph nodes removed tested positive and OG should now be considered for chemo. At the end of the report the consultant had added “Mr Cordner is currently unaware of the outcome of the histology”. I immediately Googled (as you do) and then rang the Uro-oncology Nurse Practitioner at Addenbrookes to ask if we could meet up with the consultant when OG was over there for plumbing adjustments this weekend.

That evening I was dozily watching TV when the ‘phone rang. It was “THE PLUMBER OF ADDENBROOKES”. I immediately found myself sitting to attention. God himself ringing me at 9.15 pm, this must be important. “Hello Mrs Cordner. Sarah said that your GP told you the outcome of the histology. Mrs. Cordner, I am so sorry, this shouldn’t have happened. I can’t apologise to you enough. Can I meet up with you and Mr Cordner tomorrow afternoon and I’ll go over it with you.”

Next afternoon saw him and his colleague perched on the edge of OG’s hospital bed explaining that if the nodes had been unaffected there would have been a 60/80% chance of being free of cancer after 5 years, now the odds had been reduced to 30/60%. He said that the next step would be to get OG over this operation and then hand him over to the Oncologist who would have his kidneys tested again and re-assess him for chemo.

The Plumber is a big affable, charismatic Belfast man who gave us this bad news in such a positive way that somehow it didn’t seem too bad at all. I can understand why he wanted to tell us himself. He must go home at night and think “God, I’m good”.

A slightly surreal moment was when OG told him that he had started our house renovation work as a retirement project and asked if he would be able to continue with it. He said “there is nothing to stop you, what are you doing?” OG explained the extent of it and then said “….and after that I want to build a swimming pool”. At this the consultant became really animated and the conversation switched to JCB’s. When he heard that OG has his own JCB and dumper truck I thought he was going to have an orgasm. They were in boy heaven together discussing the fun of driving sodding JCBs. Can you believe that?

Even more surreal, as all this was going on I found myself gazing at this George Clooney impersonator, slightly sweaty from his efforts to save another life, dressed in his operation blues with the V-neck allowing me a tantalising peek at his hairy chest, and slightly swooning. As the book says, we surely are from different planets.

So…. OG has many, many hills to climb - one day and one step at a time. The challenge this weekend centring around his nether region. As you would expect, since the operation his plumbing has been all over the place. His No.2 would not work and his No.1 was on automatic pilot. Yesterday they removed the automatic pilot. Now his No.1 is misbehaving, but thankfully his No.2 is perfect!

THE TERMINAL 5 SONG

At last, Breakfast news had me laughing. This is the funniest new items they have ever had. YouTube - The Terminal 5 Song (very funny). The guy that wrote this little ditty had his wedding luggage lost by BA last year and empathised with the poor passengers going through Terminal 5 so he took himself down there and recorded this song. The people dancing along with him are real passengers and they joined in the fun with him. What a brilliant, wacky thing to do. I love it!