Thursday 24 December 2009


I would first like to apologise that I haven't had time to reply to comments and/or visit my blogging friends, but life has gone a bit mad here.

On Thursday it became apparent that OG wasn't able to transfer himself from the bed to the loo with my aid any more, The little shuffle movement that enabled him to turn himself in a half circle and plop himself down in his wheelchair had gone which meant that I had to bend down and physically move one foot at a time whilst propping him up. Too perilous and all the while he was freaking out that he would fall.

When the District Nurse saw this she swung into action immediately She ordered the fully adjustable hospital bed with air matress that she has been pressing him to agree to for weeks and rang around to get us help with lifting and moving four times a day. The bed was not a problem it arrived yesterday morning but getting help at Christmas is more difficult and as the help he needs is of the more personal nature he won't allow any of the family to get involved although he may have to accept this, allbeit temporarily.

So yesterday at 0800 the bed arrived and was errected. At 1000 the Community Nurse arrived to inflate the matress which wouldn't co-operate. Some hours and several 'phone calls later it was resolved, but we decided not to transfer him until we were sure it wasn't going to suddenly deflate itself again in the middle of the night.

In the meantime the ladies from the home hospice popped in and spent over an hour telling us why they couldn't help because there were maxed out until next next Wednesday. Then our daughter arrived and got roped in with the discussions.

During their visit OG began acting very weird, halucinating and saying strange things. They said that sometimes medication could do this and if he would agree to go into the hospice in Peterborough for a few days he could be stabalised and made more comfortable. He suddenly became very alert and lucid, going loopy, especially, for some odd reason, when they said it was in Peterborough. They immediately backed off of that suggestion (he has still got his fighting spirit, big time!) but asked if it was OK for them to tell the GP and get the medication changed.

Then the police arrived. At 5.30 pm on Monday night our local village post office had been robbed by three men in ski masks. Their get away vehicle had been dumped near our house and they were doing house to house enquiries in case anyone had seen anything. He asked if we had been in the village at the time. I said "I haven't been outside this house for weeks". He smiled and thought "I could do without comedians like this"!. If only he knew! It's surreal that in the middle of all this life continues remorselessly moving from mundane, to dramatic, to beautiful, to stressful, to funny etc. etc.

Then my lunch arrived. They had a buffet lunch arranged in the office and had kindly bought me over a plate.

Then a parcel arrived. A beautiful basket full of Irish goodies. Unfortunately the sender wasn't named, but I suspect it was from our wonderful Irish friends the Contessa and her toy boy. Thank you so much. We love you, even if you didn't send the parcel!

Then the GP arrived. She was so supportive and we had a long talk. She said they understood how hard it was for me and they would help in any way they could. She knew people that had taken the same decision to stay at home and had never regretted it. I cried, she cuddled me and made me feel better.

In between times the wretched 'phone wouldn't stop ringing with recorded messaged wanting to know if I was in debt and asking if I need help, etc, etc. I need help alright, help to rip this bloody 'phone out of the wall. (Note to self: I must get around to registering with TPS.)

Then we had a really good visit from our beloved granddaughter, her husband, their beautiful new baby Leyton, his older brother Noah (11 months old) and our two beloved great-grandaughters. Our life touched "normal" for a few minutes.

Today threatens to be just as mad. OG gets transferred to the new bed, which will be very traumatic for him, and then no doubt we will have the odd selection of medics, and wanabe medics parading through our home at various times of the day doing their best to help, but , in truth, totally exhausing us. And we can't tell them to stop coming because we desperately need them.

Stop it Ann, be grateful for what you have. Life is sweet. We are surrounded by the most amazingly dedicated and loving family and friends who shower us with beauty, love and kindness. And tomorrow is the day we celebrate the birth of the christ child. Like I said once before recently. the circle of life continues. Happy Christmas everyone.


RNSANE said...

You must really be exhausted, Ann! So much going on, so much to do and worry about so please do not fret about reading blogs and responding to us. We know you are there and it is good to get an update on your status and that of OG - but no one expects any more at this time. I think a hospital bed will make life a bit easier but you will definitely need help moving your husband to and from the bathroom if he can't transfer himself. It will be good when home health people can get in regularly.

I'm glad you were able to enjoy the children and grandchildren.

Thinking of you at this Christmas and keeping you and OG in my heart and in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

keep the faith xxxxxxxxxx
and take the help

Maggie May said...

Accept all offers of help.
It is a great pity this has happened over Christmas when help is at a minimal.
My heart goes out to you.
Meanwhile you & OG will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Hope you & OG manage to have some normal Christmassy pleasures and that the medication can be sorted out.

Nuts in May

aims said...

You have brought me back to memories of my father who hallucinated during one point and thought he was back in the army and began giving me marching orders for his feet which he couldn't work.

You and OG and all of yours are in my thoughts. As everyone says - take whatever help you can get and take whatever sleep you can manage.

Life so often does not seem fair and I think it isn't. Knowing you have tried your hardest and done your best is what matters. And it is quite obvious you are giving your all and more.

Thinking of you and yours.

Anonymous said...

Hi Ann,

They are both made of stern stuff, your OG and my Mags, I guess I am the OG here, or is that SOG "Silly, Superior, Stupid, serene, .... Old G" what ever you want me to be. I just take the one that fits and use it a day at a time (Stupid usually fits for me). When I look at the help you have both given to us, and then read your blog. The physical problems I have had these past 6 years are no where near as bad as OG's. I do think, and pray for you both, in my own way. Without yourself for OG and Mags for me us OG's would have been in a fine state.

ADDY said...

I am so sorry for you. You must be going demented trying to cope with all this. At least be comforted by you wonderful family and our blogging friends. I for one will be thiking of you and praying for a miracle.

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Thinking of you Ann and wishing you and OG all the very best, not just for Christmas but also for 2010. A x

Jay said...

Oh gosh, you poor thing! I bet you wanted to smack that policeman! LOL! He wasn't to know, bless him.

I really do feel for you. I know how hard it is to get help when it's needed and Christmas is just crazily busy for services like this. I know how they drive you nuts despite your need for them too, having gone through the 'Mum, you really do need some help here' conversations and talks with Social Services. Must be so much worse for you.

Sending you the best of good thoughts and wishes to support you through all this. I hope you manage to have a good Christmas despite all, and that OG is comfy in his nice new bed.

By the way, if it's Thorpe Hall you're being offered, it has a smashing reputation. And it's in a beautiful Cromwellian Mansion in its own grounds on the outskirts of the city.

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you and sending our prayers. my family all send their love. Flagmaker

DogLover said...

Love to you, R & D, as always. I feel very guilty and selfish enjoying myself over Christmas when you are having such a nightmare time.

But then you know what I'm like ...

Remember me to OG and let me know if he says "Who?"

Eddie Bluelights said...

Thinking of you both at this difficult time.
Christmas blessings to you and our love ~ Eddie x

Mr. Nighttime said...

As hard as it is for the patient, it is sometimes even harder on the caregiver. I know what Mrs. Nighttime went through during my illness, transplantation, and recovery period, and it was very difficult for her. I wish you all the est, and here's hoping for a full recovery for OG. said...

Glad your life got to be normal at least for a bit. Hope you had a great Christmas despite all the goings on. As always yur guys are in my thoughts & prayers.

Hugs & hope from across the ocean,

Mare Freeborn

aims said...

Just popping by to say I've been worrying about how things are going.

Just thinking of you both from across the ocean.