Saturday 27 October 2007


It has never been more obvious to me that age is merely a state of mind than when Menzies Campbell resigned recently because he was being taunted about his age. He is younger than me, and is the same generation as Mick Jagger, Cliff Richard and Paul McCartney. The only difference? He grew up. Moral? Don’t grow up. I never will!!

And neither will my fishy friend. This week she reported that her new credit card had not arrived. Here’s how that one went:

Having paid my accounts on time, as a good person does, (unlike when I was 30) I had no problem ‘phoning the credit card company to alert them that my new card had not arrived.

"Wait until the end of the month" says the girl on the end of the phone "It was sent out 15 days ago" Eh??

"OK - as it was sent 15 days ago do you think that it may be lost? Postal strike and all that? Do you think you should be a little concerned - and more to the point, should I not be concerned?"

"Well " she says" it's up to you (yawn, yawn) but if you want to use your account in the next few days perhaps you should just hope it arrives in time. If I cancel your account now and report a lost card you will have to wait for up to 10 days to get new account, card and PIN. We don't want to cause you any concern"

I stop myself saying anything about concern that my bloody credit card is floating around the British Postal system somewhere. In my best Karma self I say politely "CANCEL NOW - that is C.A.N.C.E.L - NOW" and hey that has caused me no concern at all in saying it!!!

A week later the "old" new card has still not arrived - nor has the "new" new card but hey, who's concerned.????? Certainly not the guys who charge 27.5%APR.

Take me home country roads…..

By the way I have just read your blog about your adventures with the Dr's receptionist. OMG!!!! I have an idea. We should set up a vigilante group - zimmer frames at the fore - we will overcome. I am starting to have the slightest inkling of the mind-set of a suicide bomber!!!!!

I say again - take me back, country roads...............

Again I say, age is merely a state of mind. Who can possibly realise that these genteel older folk harbour such thoughts of madness and mayhem?


DogLover said...

Are we allowed to advertise on your pornsite, R&D? If so, I recommend your friend to change to the RBofS credit card service. They are very efficient and prompt and, what's more, are quick to spot any fraudster who tries to use your card. I nearly got taken for about £1000 by some guy the other side of the country - the fraud people caught his transactions with a few hours.

doglover said...

Pornsite! How dare you sir. And what's with R&D? retiredanddaft?

In answer to your comment. I hear what you are saying, but in your case the RBofS may have had a hidden agenda. Like compensation?

Swearing Mother said...

I cannot believe I haven't discovered your site before. It's so good I nearly pee'd my pants, and even at my age that isn't inevitable or even my usual habit.

Funny, funny, funny. And you didn't even have to resort to as much gratuitous swearing as I do on my blog.

What a brilliant post, Retired and Crazy. Even my husband laughed, and believe me, that's saying something.

DogLover said...

A brief explanation:

I typed R&D because I am not good at handling these proper nouns that don't start with capital letters - it's something to do with the expensive education that was wasted on me. I think I was thinking of Retiredan Dcrazy ... But who knows? It may just be another indication of my advanced age. Don't laugh - in twenty years or so you'll be my age


DogLover said...

To swearing mother:

Yes, it's a good blog, isn't it. I have been a faithful follower for many months.

The swearing bit is a problem. I find it slips out when I'm in a hurry, but with more leisure one can choose a more acceptable word that is much more effective! My Roget's Thesaurus was printed in 1965 and is falling to pieces! I said that WITN never swore, but as R&C points out, she sometimes does. When she does, it is a bit of a shock and there are always plenty of words she could have substituted that would have made her comment much more telling! But then WITN is a class act and her prose often gets near poetry, doesn't it.

Anyway, nice to hear from you, swearing mother.

doglover said...

Oh dear doglover, I dispair for you. You are such a prig! (Prig doesn't count as a swear word does it?)

DogLover said...

Not if you spell it with a "g". said...

Thank you so much for your kind words swearing mother. A kindrid spirit at last! When I was younger I developed my swearing skills by cursing the children. Now I am reduced to screaming abuse at the TV morning news programmes. But.....that is another story.

I would also like to say that apart from being a world class blasphemer I am also an expert on many, many topics and could run the country much better than the tossers we have in power at the moment.