WEEKENDS? ABFAB!

• My potential lunch date email this:-
  
  “Sorry I was too late to reply to your earlier mail. Lunch today would've been great
  
  - apart that is from the "man thing" - Geoff's ill and Dad's ill (with the nasty little H5N1 plus 100 thing)
  
  - and when I say ill, I mean ill, ill - death's door - get their affairs in order quickly before it's too late ill.
  
  Nurse Jean is on the case - Boots the Chemist has nothing left on the shelves - and with the sympathy span of a gnat I have leapt into action. "Take it ......NOW" I yell and to add to the fantastic bed-side manner I say serenely "I had this at the beginning of the week AND I STILL WENT TO f******g WORK..........dear". (So in you own time - GET OVER IT!!!!)
  
  So as I say, lunch today would've been great!!!!
  
  Away for the next couple of week-ends - ICU patients allowing - but if a Saturday lunch is good for you how about 24th - that'd do me fine. If we're good on that let's chat location, location - if you're not let's chat date, date!
  
  Hope all's well with you and yours. So looking forward to seeing you again - see, this let's make a date is a great thing???!!!!
  
  Loadsa
  
  Your friendly neighbourhood s**t specialist”

Now you have an insight into my life. We are Edina and Patsy (interchangeable) and our children/grandchildren/great grandchildren would not be seen dead with us.